Last week, my friend said that after having a long and scary experience with COVID, her priorities had shifted and she decided to leave her full-time job to stay home with her kids. “I know,” she said with a nervous chuckle. “Ever since you’ve known me, I’ve talked about being a career woman, haven’t I? But something changed.”
In the moment, I sensed she needed to be affirmed in her decision. She needed to be told it was okay for her to change her mind. So I told her it was normal to change based on life experience—
Like,
Of course it’s okay to change your mind!
Of course it’s okay to change course based on new information.
Of course it’s okay to change your beliefs even if you emphatically used to believe something different.
Maybe you thought this job was your dream job. And you took it and you’re getting paid tons of money but you’re terrified because it’s not as fulfilling as you thought it would be. What if you’re allowed to quit? What if that job is a dream job, not because it’s the right fit but because it taught you what the wrong fit feels like? What if that job is a teacher, not a destination?
Or maybe you’re dating someone and you’ve told a few people you might marry them but now you’re having second thoughts and you’re terrified to tell your friends because you don’t want to seem flaky. What if you’re allowed to change your mind? What if you’re not locked in? What if it’s okay to not see a future with someone that you used to see a future with? And it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong; it just means something has changed?
There are a million scenarios this could apply to.
When I started my own business in 2020, it only took me 6 months to realize it was not a sustainable lifestyle… but I had tons of money and time and energy wrapped into it and I was terrified of admitting I wanted to quit. I didn’t want people to think I was incapable of finishing what I started. One of the first people I told was my friend Jessica, an Enneagram 8, who immediately said, “Sav! Don’t worry about what people think. You’ll tell them at lunch and they’ll forget by dinner!”
Instantly, the pressure fell out of my nervous system and into the ground.
I was allowed to quit!
And you are, too.
You are not eternally tied down to your old opinions, beliefs, or decisions.
You are not cornered into your previous way of seeing the world.
As long as you’re alive, you’re allowed to change your mind. Life is too short to stay stuck just because you feel pressure to make something work that isn’t working. There are no golden stars for betraying your instincts! Life is too short to live in a pressure cooker. Feel the freedom to change course, friend!
-Savannah
Writing Prompt: Did any situation or relationship come to mind when you read this post? Is there anything in your life that simply isn’t working anymore?
Recommended Reading: Love Does by Bob Goff. I know this is a Millennial classic, but in this book Bob talks about quitting something every Thursday. I think the playfulness with which he engages life can be a huge relief for those who are feeling pressure from the daily grind.