I hit 1 Million Streams on Apple Music...then I thought of Paris Hilton.

I hit 1 million streams on Apple Music last month. Then I thought of Paris Hilton.

I watched a bunch of documentaries about Paris during the COVID years because she's fascinating and complicated and, like all of us, figuring out how to do this life thing. She was talking to her sister in one scene, saying her only goal was to be a billionaire because then she wouldn't have to worry about money anymore. It feels silly to even type because one part of me wants to shrug her off and say she's an out of touch socialite who needs to think about someone else for a change. But the bigger part of me actually felt her fear underneath the surface. She legitimately felt she needed a billion dollars to make her safe and free. Since then, she has actually changed her mind, saying, "I always saw money as freedom and independence, and not being controlled."

I would be happy with a million dollars, I thought.

And then I hit a million streams on Apple Music. Which, for the record, does not produce anywhere remotely close to a million dollars (more like $8k). But it was a goal I've seen many friends hit while I said to myself, "I would be happy with a million streams!"

And of course, now that I've reached the rainbow's last known location... it moved to the other side of the field.

The rumors are true. Numbers of any kind don't make you happy... for long.

When I hit 1 million streams, my goal turned into 5 million. The wheels started turning: I thought of all the projects I could churn out to reach my goal.

And then I thought about this session I had with my therapist many years ago. We were working with an Internal Family Systems Model which differentiates the different parts of you.

I have two very dominant parts: Manager and Creative. My Manager part is always churning out ideas for growth, expansion, development, and making money. My Creative part is my inner child- not obsessed with money or security but driven by a love for beauty. In therapy, a picture came to mind of my Manager putting my Creative part in chains in a dungeon, and forcing her to produce art in order to grow my career.

Maybe this sounds woo-woo to you? But it exposed a pattern I've had in adulthood of only seeing art as it relates to money. Of monetizing my gifts so I can grow a career and feel safe. I cannot sustainably live that way . I do not want to wring myself like a dish towel in order to get something beautiful to market online. I am doing art as a gift or not at all.

You've already heard the last song on The Unveiling Project.

The original plan was for a grand finale- full band, huge chorus, amazing featured vocalists for a song called Light at the End of the Tunnel.

But another idea kept humming in the back of my mind asking for attention: What if you do a completely stripped down version of Giving In?

And instead of obsessing over the data or strategy or numbers, I honored that hum.

My friend, Aaron, played his felt piano while me and my other friend, Abby, sang. And it is magical. I truly cannot wait for you to hear it.

You can pre-save it here to let Spotify know you're excited. It's releasing tomorrow so you don't have to wait long!

Thank you for following along on this project. I hope you continue to honor every part of yourself, especially that inner creative who wants to make beauty for the love of beauty. Cherish that part of you with everything you have.

-Savannah