For the Lonely, Anxious, Sad, or Angry
Take what you need! Words to carry you this week.
Today, I want you to take what you need. Find the title you relate to the most and embrace the words that follow.
I feel lonely…
Your desire for connection is a gift. Maybe you need to be reminded of that? That there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling lonely? You are made for rich and deep connection. You are made to live in community (communion) with God, yourself, and others. It is good that when you are disconnected, your heart aches. It means you still desire to be seen and known. You have not shut down or isolated in fear.
If you’re ready, here are a few things that help me when I’m feeling lonely:
Be vulnerable and reach out to someone. Nobody can read your mind and magically know you are lonely. You need to tell people and allow them the opportunity to show up for you. If you’re close with them, you can say, “Hi! I’m feeling disconnected from my relationships lately. Can we do dinner tonight?” If you’re not comfortable being that explicit, ask someone to get coffee for fun!
Watch your social media intake. If I’m already feeling lonely, social media is salt in the wound. So instead of spending hours scrolling through Instagram, find a task and complete it— simplify your closet, paint a dresser, whatever! But I promise that no lonely person ever felt better after spending hours on social media.
Connect with yourself and God. Sometimes we can feel disconnected from others because we are disconnected from God and ourselves. What does connection look like for you? For me, I journal, drink tea, and listen to a sermon or read the Bible to ground myself. Maybe this looks like a walk for you or a long bath? But connection starts with you being connected.
I feel anxious…
Anxiety carries a megaphone and a projector, constantly predicting a future apart from the presence of God. I think she means well? She works tirelessly to brace you for impact so you’re not surprised when things unravel, but she does not have clear vision…for your future is drenched with the loving presence and activity of God.
If you’re ready, here are a few things that help me when I’m feeling anxious:
Come back to your breath. Be diligent about this. When your thoughts spiral to your to-do list, the future, the past, and everything in between, take a breath. Focus on breathing. This not only helps regulate your nervous system, but it gives your mind something to focus on that is in the present moment.
I have found Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 to be remarkably comforting when I’m anxious: “Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life… But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” This passage reminds me that, for all the chaos life brings, I am never asked to bear the weight of it alone. God is not my enemy, but my ally, and I am loved.
This online guided meditation from the Mindful Christian. Her voice is so soothing.
I feel sad…
Unfortunately, many of us were taught to see sadness as a negative emotion. This ignores its gift. Sadness can signal how much you value a thing or person. If someone moves away and you feel sad, it shows how much you love that person. If you start a new chapter of life, there is a sadness that comes along with losing what was to pursue what’s next. Sadness is a way of honoring what we love. Sadness can also identify what we need to release and grieve. Sadness is a slow emotion and keeps us grounded in the present moment. It helps us pay attention to our pain. If you feel sad, you haven’t done anything wrong. Be gentle with yourself this week.
If you’re ready, here are a few things that help me when I’m feeling sad:
Let yourself cry. Smiling might be Elf’s favorite thing to do, but crying is my favorite thing to do. Crying helps release our sadness and keep it flowing. When sadness gets stuck, it can be overwhelming. Allowing yourself to cry is a great way to embrace your sadness.
Share how you’re feeling with a friend. This is scary because it’s vulnerable to text, “I’m feeling really sad. Do you have space to process with me?” but giving your emotions room to breathe can help you get unstuck. It’s also an important way of reminding yourself that you are not alone. You are worth being witnessed in your sadness!
Get creative. I’ve found writing, music, painting, etc… to be healing when I feel sad. Beauty helps us decenter ourselves for a moment and find meaning and goodness in the world.
I feel angry…
Anger is an emotion that many of us were taught to ignore because it is “bad” or “out of control.” If you feel angry, you are not crazy. You are normal and it is normal to feel angry. Anger shows us that something is wrong. Anger can signal that a boundary is being violated. Anger points to what we value. Anger can protect us from feeling the gravity of our hurt. Anger is not meant to get stuck. Stuck anger turns into depression or rage or resentment. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to your anger and let it flow through you.
If you’re ready, here are a few things that help me when I’m feeling sad:
Exercise. I love a good anger walk. If I’m feeling so angry I can’t think straight, I make myself walk until I physically feel more grounded and level. Sometimes this can be five miles, but it is worth it. Exercise reminds your emotions to flow and keep moving.
Write it out. Remember, the goal is to let your anger move through you. If you’re angry, think of ways to lay your anger on the table and make it as concrete as possible. For me, this involves writing. By writing out (completely unedited) why I’m angry, I’m able to reroute the energy from my body and onto the page.
Don’t forget that anger acts as a protector. Typically, anger protects us from feeling hurt. It’s easier to say we’re mad than sad. Easier to be angry than admit we feel rejected. Take time to reflect on what your anger might be protecting. What is your anger trying to say?
-Savannah
Writing Prompt: Write for 5 minutes, starting with “Today I feel…”
Recommended Watching: Here’s a feeling wheel if you’re having a hard time discerning how you feel.
Recommended Listening: This soft piano playlist is so beautiful!